Last week news hit the internet that George Lucas was adding even more changes to the original Star Wars trilogy for the Blu Ray release, coming in just 10 days from now on September 16th, 2011. Apparently the Ewoks can now blink. Okay, whatever. Can't say it was ever a point of contention for this nerd, but I guess George has been annoyed by the potential impact of Logray overcharging his fellow Ewoks for Visine for the last 30 years. But the big rumble amongst the bloggers came in the form of a very long "Nooooooooo."
I haven't found any motivation to actually watch the video of the change online, but it seems the cry of "no" uttered by the freshly minted Darth Vader at the end of Episode III has now been added to Darth's body slam of the Emperor aboard the Death Star in Return of the Jedi. To call back to my Ewok eyelid stance, okay, whatever. I just don't care anymore, but I seem to be in a minority.
The volume and intensity of nerd outrage was felt from Skywalker Ranch to the bottom of New Zealand. The jokes and one liners, the insistent need for every film blogger to throw in their two cents (although that's mostly just hit farming), my Twitter feed was littered with shouting and all over what? A "no?" Listen, we're nerds, we've heard the word no before, although usually from that cheerleader in our high school science class. Just me? Moving on...
Honestly, I think fans are more upset over the horrific cry of "noooo" from Episode III, which was a low point in the film, being used in Jedi or even just being reminded of it, than they are of actually inserting a line of dialog into the movie. So Vader says "no," who cares. It's not like they dubbed in a whole line of dialog like "hey there Emperor! Stop killing my son you wrinkled old bag of bones!" Now that would be ridiculous, but what amounts to a guttural moan of defiance? Simmer down nerds, we'll live.
Then there are those who are trying to define their outrage by claiming how much they loved the silent defiance (they're words, not mine) of Vader's act. Listen, it's not like they couldn't dub in a "no" in the early 80s. The tech was there. When I see that scene, I see an oversized plastic costume helmet that allows the actor no chance at emotion and I see the menacing Darth Vader perform what amounts to a comedic double take. I'm not trying to rob anyone's opinion of it, but frankly, that moment where Vader looks back and forth always came off as comical to me. Maybe it does to George as well and this is his answer. Right or wrong, regardless of his past actions or opinions or comments about art, it's still his film. If you want to relive your childhood, if you're upset that you're in your 40s and have a gut, don't hold a film or a stranger accountable for your crisis.
This brings me to the impending Star Wars BD release. Do I want to buy it? For the extras, absolutely. For the movies? Not at all. I have them. I have the DVDs and they look good and they sound good. You know what else I have? The laserdiscs, and if someone would make a new LD player with an HDMI cable, they'd look as good if not better than the Blu Ray versions. And they're completely unaltered, pre special edition. If you want to cry over the changes all day long, get off your ass, spend some cash, and you too can have fantastic copies of the original trilogy on laserdisc.
Should Lucas make the original, theatrically released versions of the films available? Absolutely. He can special edition Lando white and no one would care as long as they had the original cuts! Will he? You know it will happen and he'll make a ton of money off of us once again. Even if we have to wait till after he dies, it will happen. If not, for a large pizza I again say, I have the laserdiscs. Come on over.
Nerd Rage Bonus Feature!!
P.S. To satisfy your need for anger, all this is to say, I still really, really hate that Lucas put Hayden Christensen at the end of Jedi! The other changes, I can work around or ignore, but that one makes zero sense to me from a storytelling perspective. Supposedly Lucas said it was because they appear as Jedi and since Anakin became Vader and turned to the dark side, we should see Anakin and not old Vader (David Prowse). Bullshit. The entire point of RETURN of the Jedi is that Anakin redeems himself and abandons the dark side of the Force to become a good Jedi at the end of his life. Therefore, he dies a fucking Jedi so he should appear in the Ewok rave as old Anakin. Period. Changing it negates an entire film and betrays the story. Digital blinking, whatevs. Altering the story, bullshit.
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