So, this past Monday I spent the day at a very hot and somewhat crowded Disneyland in Anaheim. For those of you in Florida, the better Magic Kingdom. Yeah, I said it, deal with that! Sure your Animal Kingdom is cool and EPCOT is neato, but your little copy of the original '55 D-Land is weak and pathetic next to my beloved SoCal landmark!! Old school bitches!!!
Speaking of old school, thanks to last summer's rather unexpected passing of Michael Jackson, everyone and their cousin was trying to think of a way to cash in on the tribute craze surrounding the Gloved One. The Disney stockholder brain couldn't resist jumping in and announced a relaunch of their classic Jackson starring 3-D vehicle, Captain EO. Hey, they get to ride the 3-D craze too! Synergy!!!
Premiering virtually simultaneously in Anaheim and EPCOT in September of 1986, this one reel space epic was directed by Francis Ford Coppola based on a script by George Lucas and a producer from Yentl. It cost nearly $30 million to produce and is considered to be the first "4-D" film ever made using effects in the theater such as smoke and lasers to bring the audience even further into the experience. It was revolutionary at the time and still widely used in theme park films across the globe.
Now titled Captain EO Tribute, The movie itself opens with a floating space rock and some narration and then we meet the silliest space ship ever and one clearly in need of a good home model kit release. Inside is a crew of Muppets that includes a 2-headed dude, a floating butterfly sugar baby, a crotchety looking robot, and the cousin of Return of the Jedi's Max Rebo who mysteriously has the voice of Black Samson. They trip an alarm and then Captain EO himself (Jackson) emerges from his slumber hole in a weird white space suit. They piss off some enemy ships, get a call from their boss, and crash land on the future Earth of the Matrix Trilogies. Once there, they must locate the "supreme leader" and deliver a mysterious gift so important, EO's boss sends him even though he repeatedly expresses absolutely no confidence in EO getting the job done.
EO and his crew are captured and taken to the Supreme Leader (Angelica Houston) when things start getting weird. British Robot Colonel turns into a drumkit, a stand up bass, and a keyboard and the rest of the crew become MJ's back-up band. The grooves get funky thick and dancing ensues including the moon walk. Eventually we figure out "the gift" is the gift of joy and music and MJ shoots the Supreme Leader full of musical ray beams and she turns from the inspiration for Star Trek's Borg Queen into a Roman looking Angelica Houston. Unfortunately, in order to give EO the ability to do all this, the military had to pump him full of so much radiation, he died on the voyage back. That's why there's no sequel.
Some interesting things about the show include
- EO's super power basically being he can turn evil henchmen into back up dancers by shooting lasers blasts from his hands. He also somehow downloads all the choreography necessary to battle evil in the same blast.
- Space flight in this film defies all physics. There a moment where the enemy ship is literally doing a power slide in low orbit around the planet.
- With the two bigger robot dancers in the second half of the routine, the dude on the right is way more into it than lefty! He is popping and locking while lefty is just kind of going through the motions. You keep on keeping on righty!
- totally spotted multiple continuity errors with the Captain's space jacket. Open, closed, open, closed. Plus, who gave him that rainbow t-shirt? Is that the source of his super power?
- why does the Supreme Leader want to turn his crew into trashcans when they live on a world that is basically a giant trashcan? Seems a little redundant.
We actually went twice in a row as soon as we got to the park and the cast member inside called us on it which was kind of funny. He said, "hey, we've got super fans coming back in." I totally would've gone again too if the lines hadn't picked up later. It was way better than I remember it and actually really really fun. I like to poke fun at it a bit, but overall Captain EO is quality stuff, infinitely better than the Honey, I Shrunk the Audience thing that's been in the theater since EO left in '97.
As far as the technology goes, the original 70mm print still looks fantastic. I personally love the look of the older film stocks and there is no grain and or scratch to be found on this one, just the color palette of the 80s to soak up and enjoy. The 3-D effect is good, but used in the stunt fashion of the early days of 3-D where a rock or a hand comes out at you, not like the immersive 3-D we get in today's market. Where you sit will have a big impact as well. The first time we were dead center three rows back and it was flawless. The second time we were in the same row, but maybe 7 or 8 seats to the left and the layering wasn't quite as seamless and definitely didn't feel like it was coming off the screen as much.
Musically it is solid. James Horner provides a typical Horner-esque score from back when he did slightly more interesting work. Jackson's song "We Are Here to Change the World" actually might be my favorite Jackson tune overall. It has a great beat, a lot of funk, and offers up the sort of inspirational family friendly MJ lyrics we loved in his earlier career.
I wish Disney had built up some cool merch for this tribute, but it literally looks like they cracked open some dusty boxes from the back and pulled out a sweatshirt, a couple tees, and sparkly 3" button. We bought the button. The shirts were kind of overpriced at $27, but that is Disneyland. I really wanted a pin as we collect Disney pins and me in particular I get Tomorrowland stuff, but nothing was available.
Disney lists this as being an "indefinite" engagement and I kind of hope they find a reason to keep EO around for some time. At the very least, it should be revived at regular intervals like the Nightmare Before Christmas Haunted Mansion. There's nothing to replace it as of yet, so you should have time to catch it if you visit the park this year. No word on if it will return to Florida and beyond either.
The end result, I would totally buy this on DVD. It is corny and silly, but when you step back and value the nostalgia of it combined with the fact it is basically the most expensive music video ever, it is easy to find the joy in the movie and really have a good time with it. It is a rare perfect storm of so many heavy hitters coming together to create some movie magic, even if it only was meant to play on two screens as opposed to say Avatar's 4,000. If you're at Disneyland soon, be sure to schedule in some time to catch Captain EO, it is nothing but fun.
(note: I took a bunch of these photos from the great fan site www.captaineo.com. Go there to read some cool stories from EO's past and present including a good write up on the reopening of the show in February.)
Screened: March 15th, 2010 at the Magic Eye Theater in Disneyland
Director: Francis Ford Coppola
Script: George Lucas, Rusty Lemorande
Cast: Michael Jackson, Angelica Houston, Tony Cox, Dick Shawn
Fav. Quote: "Silencccccce... Infidelsssss"
Snacks: none allowed
Grade: B +
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